


The Alien Amongst Us

by gotthebiggayquelquefois



Category: Doctor Who (2005), The X-Files
Genre: Crossover, Doctor Who References, Humor, Mulder and Scully - Freeform, This is just for shits and giggles, doctor who/x files crossover, hinted msr, i want it to be funny at least, inspired by a tumblr post i wrote, just a little bit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:01:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23460655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gotthebiggayquelquefois/pseuds/gotthebiggayquelquefois
Summary: Ten comes to Washington D.C. in 1995 for a holiday. He winds up being witness to a crime, which Special Agent Mulder believes has a link to extra-terrestrials. Dana Scully does not. Shit goes down when they try to interview the Doctor. There's a lot of swearing, just saying.
Kudos: 9





	The Alien Amongst Us

**Author's Note:**

> i hope y'all like this. in fact idc, i'm writing this for the two people on my tumblr who said they wanted to read this.

**Ten's POV**

I had just wanted to a holiday. Not a trip where I had to save the Earth or fight off aliens. I just wanted to go to shitty tourist attractions and eat greasy pizza for three days. I wanted a fucking holiday. 

It seemed to be going that way for the first day. I did exactly what I wanted. I was walking back to my motel at 1am, shovelling chips into my mouth, when a bright light filled the alleyway. I looked up, and saw a triangular ship hovering over the alleyway. Fucking Krettuds. How many times did I have to tell them? They had to get their source of teeth from somewhere else. But no. "Human teeth are better. There's a certain quality you can't get from that replicated crap." I am going to kill Kepler the next time I see his face. That is it hadn't fallen off again. I'm pretty sure this was Kepler's ship, and I knew he liked American teeth more than other teeth.

I scoured the sky, looking for someone. There. Two streets away. Two voices in my head started to argue. 

"You don't have to do this."

"You probably should."

"You're on holiday!"

"He will die if he doesn't get medical attention."

"It's not any of our business."

"That's never stopped us before!"

"Fuck! For fuck's sake! Fine!" I screamed, to no-one at all. I flung the polystyrene container onto the pavement, kicked it a few times, and then ran off in the direction I had seen the man.

As I reached the street, I could see the hatch being slid open. I peered up, and saw Kepler holding the body of some drunk teenager. "Kepler! For fuck's sake!" As Kepler chucked the boy out of the hatch, I sighed, wondering if I should have just stayed in that night. The body fell to the tarmac with a thud. Groaning slightly, I ran off to find a payphone to call an ambulance. I hoped that that kid hadn't spotted me, or I'd wind up having to talk to some twatty police officer. Why couldn't I just have a normal holiday for once?

**Mulder's POV**

"Scully," I said, walking into the basement, file in hand. I handed it to her, and asked " Have you heard of this?" She opened the file, and her eyes flicked over the pages, skim reading. "Seventeen year old kid wakes up in an alleyway surrounded by paramedics. He claims he was abducted by aliens. He was drunk-" Scully laughed a little, "Very drunk." Mulder smiled at this, liking seeing her smile like that. 

"Is there a reason you're showing me this Mulder?"

"Keep reading." She continued to skim the page.

"He was found with eighteen bones broken and all his teeth removed. I assume you have a theory."

"There have been seven other reports of abductions in the Washington area in the last six years. It's the same each time. Victim - usually drunk or high - is found with all their teeth removed and a large amount of their bones broken. All claiming they were abducted by aliens."

"There's no proof."

"I know but-"

"None of these have any witnesses, no forensic evidence."

"Yes but-"

"I've heard of some black market dealers stealing organs in D.C. recently. But teeth? I mean I suppose they could use them for-"

"Scully! There's a witness."

**Scully's POV**

Somehow Mulder had dragged me to this sketchy motel to interview an alleged witness to an alleged alien abduction. It was bullshit, but Mulder had put on his puppy eyes to try persuade me to come with him, and I had certain weakness. That's how I found myself knocking on the door of Room 202 in the Roadside Motel.

The door opened to reveal a thirty something man in a suit and converse. "Hello, may we ask you a few questions sir?" I asked, "We're with the FBI. I'm Agent Scully and this is Agent Mulder."I was trying to seem serious when I mainly just wanted to make fun of Mulder. Mulder, on the other hand, looked deadly serious. "Sure, what's this about?" he asked. British accent. "A teenager was recently attacked. His name was Bobby Mills. He claims he saw you when he was..." I paused, not wanting to look stupid. Mulder nudged me. "He claims you saw him being abducted by aliens." 

"Right..." the man said, looking a little hesitant. I blushed, realising that I must sound idiotic. 

"This is my partner's investigation, not mine. I'm just here for... support."

"Okay," said the man, "Come in."

**Ten's POV**

They had been interviewing me for about ten minutes now. They weren't as incompetent as I thought they were going to be, but they seemed quite pre-occupied. He would ask me a question, and then they would bicker about it. Then I would get to answer the question.

"So do you recall seeing Bobby Mills before you called an ambulance for him?" the female agent asked me.

"No. I told you, I just found him there on the street."

"Okay. Did you see any sort of alien life form in the area, before or after your encounter with Mills?" The male agent asked me that.

"Mulder, cut the crap! This is ridiculous!"

"What is?"

"There are no aliens. There are no little green men! Bobby Mills was very clearly attacked. By humans!"

"In all other seven attacks, there have been sightings of unidentified animals and -"

"That's all they are Mulder. Animals. For God's sake, you're making it sounds as if aliens are walking amongst us! It's ridiculous." With that, I snorted, very loudly, and then bit my lip, trying not to laugh. They both turned to look at me. "Are you alright?" I nodded.

"I'm fine," I said quickly, trying not to explode with laughter. They paused for a minute, and then got back to arguing about the existence of alien life on Earth.

This was a very strange kind of foreplay. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not really sure what to do with this fic. Maybe I'll write more.


End file.
